3/25/2014

I'm a Rocking Shadow



good morning! this is the first time I share my favorite song on my blog and I think I will always do it in every posts under 'diary' tag hehe so, I've been thinking about the whole universe! sounds to much and lebay but yeah I do. I think about it in a view of the dumber. no, I'm not a smart girl. cuma seneng aja diskusi sama diri sendiri tentang apapun yang ga bisa diungkapin ke orang lain. yes, I'm introvert. oh, no, no, I'm not sure if I'm introvert. I don't know what introvert means though. but all I know is I can be somebody that suddenly feel comfortable to tell anything to a new people and when I'm somewhere in a crowd let say a party, suddenly I have a feeling of insecurity, I feel like a total stranger and not belong to any circle. I feel like OMG! I am the only alien from Mars here. I don't know you human! I'm homesick I wanna go home now! siapa yang pernah ngerasain kaya gitu? am I the only one? apa yang seperti itu di sebut introvert? explain to me later...
I feel much comfortable if I have a time with myself or a small number of people. jadi gak heran kenapa selama idup di dunia belom pernah ngerasain nonton pensi atau konser (padahal ga ada duit, LOL). I'm not that social. saya bisa diem dirumah selama seminggu tanpa merasa bosan. I'm happy because I can do what I love in my house, playing with my cat, have a time to talk to my mom about anything, cooking for lunch, oh I love it so much! and I end up reading a book or painting. I never feel sorry!

semakin besar semakin banyak kenal orang baru dan itu suatu tantangan untuk saya menyesuaikan diri dengan lingkungan. saya sendiri banyak belajar dari pengalaman temen dan orang lain dalam bergaul. jujur, I was just a girl with a few friends so that's why I need a little more time to adapt to my new life which is not contain only friends, tapi juga ada rekan kerja, rekan bisnis, pacar, temennya pacar, keluarganya pacar, pembeli, dan ada juga temen-tapi-bohong, temen-tapi-curhat-doang, temen-sih-tapi-lo-gak-kece-jadi-bhay! ya. ada.

hal kaya gitu jadi bikin saya menimbang-nimbang haruskah jadi orang yang picky? tapi bukan picky dalam hal keren atau gak keren, kece atau gak kece lho ya. lebih ke "are they worth my time?" because I've spent some my times to be there when one of them need me like I'm the only friend that they got and after all they just left me like I was stranger to them. sometimes I just want people like that gone forever from my life. ada yang bilang kalau orang yang mencoba bersikap baik terhadap orang yang pernah menyakitinya bukan berarti orang itu palsu dan bermuka dua tapi itu suatu sikap dewasa dalam menghadapi masalah. well, I agree. tapi pada prakteknya kali ini, I can't hide it! malu sih berarti saya belom dewasa ya? mungkin karena dari itu saya dikasih cobaan supaya bisa lebih dewasa lagi. Alhamdulillah makasih ya Allah.

Love,
Cikita

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