Dear blog, when the first time I decided to create you, I knew I'd like to make you my diary.
But the day changes and I see some people turned their blog into a concept like fashion, make up, cooking, tutorial, etc, with a very good image quality in every posts and cute blog layout. They are all adorable! So, I changed my mind. I just wanna be like them, my favorite blogger. "I'll never know. maybe I could be adorable like them too!" (Seriously, it was the ridiculous statement I've ever said to myself). I started posting OOTD. You can guess. Yap, it's always failed! First, I don't have a nice spot in my house. Second, I'm not like those shoppers who always update their closet every month. Third, I don't have good cameras with tripod to help me taking pictures from head to toe. At that time, I know I shouldn't be fashion blogger (why on earth I have such thought?!). I should have known it from the beginning not because of those reasons I told you but I knew I just don't have that sparks. After deleting some blog posts I paused blogging. I feel unattractive at all, nothing special happen to my life, I got nothing to tell, to post, to share. And I know no one will care and read my blog too. So what's the point of being hours in front of your screen doing something for nothing? At least, this what I thought back then. When I feel lonely, I don't really feel lonely because as an introvert person of course I do enjoy it. The problem is when I need a 'friend' to talk. I'm not kind of person who always bump into someone and tell them everything that I feel. I prefer to keep it all by myself. But you know I'm only human being and have a limit. Sometimes I couldn't go further because it's too heavy to carry it alone. I need someone or at least I need a place to pour my heartfelt and let my thoughts go. And I remember I still have my diary, where no one bother to read or care about it. Since then, I start writing my diary (read: blogging) after a long pause.
I'll write you another story dear Diary.