my new year eve was absolutely nice. I spent the night with my big family and my far far away boyfriend talking thru FaceTime and we did make-a-wish for 2015 and for our relationship that become stronger inshaAllah. It isn't easy to maintain a 6 years long distance relationship. we need to add EXTRA in every things we did. extra patience, extra time, extra cost, extra care, and all other extra efforts which sometimes set me to the craziest state of mind. but let's keep it that way... I think that love (and life) is like a roller coaster. we get scared by its heights or when we sit upside-down. we scream loudly and maybe we cry because we can't hold it anymore but that's how roller coaster works to balance our emotion and in the end we'll know that the scariest thing will end soon and leave a memory we might never feel anymore. I love you, E.
based on a previous post, I promise you something to tell... so I think today is the best day for it.
last year, I was desperately looking for a job that match my skill and hobby. I did a freelance job and I like it but all I wanted was a permanent job in an office, I have a boss and co-workers, I have my own desk and computer, I have income that I could count on it every month, and I want to have experiences that I could share to my kids in the future.
I've sent my CV and resume to (as long as I remember) 6 companies in October. one of them is a local private bank and the rest of them are online fashion retail. none of them were calling me back. I calmed myself... maybe not now or maybe I was just in the level of zero experience where no companies will consider to employ me.
I was begging to Allah that I want to get a job before 2014 ends. I want to work in an office with a position I have dreamed for so long -- graphic designer. at this point I didn't really care how much salary I would get and how far the distance between office and my home.
God gave me a sign. I was never checking my Instagram lately because I have nothing to post and I was quite busy drawing but some time in November I suddenly checked my Instagram and I saw a post from one of account I have followed few months ago. the company of a very cute shoes was looking for a graphic designer. I have a little hope... I revised my CV and portfolio, I read it again and again because I wasn't that sure but my heart says go on!
when I already attached my CV and portfolio I felt like a tiny ant in a sugar jar waiting for human to squeeze me to dead. will I get this job? or just end up embarass myself because I sent (maybe) a pretty bad CV and portfolio. my heart always screams GO and HIT THE SEND BUTTON! so I hit it.
God works like a charm. in less than 30 minutes the owner of the company replied my email and she (hint: my boss is Indonesia's most adorable quirky woman you must see!) asked me to attend the interview. I was so happy I couldn't hide it! I say alhamdulillah like thousand times because I don't know any other words to say. I was just happy and I prepared for the interview.
God you are so mysterious. during the interview I felt I did a lot of mistakes like I was telling the interviewer (who is now my boss) some things that maybe I shouldn't tell or I couldn't give the answer as she expected. there's a question that made me cry. "ceritain 2 hal yang bikin kamu sangat sedih", I cry when I gave the answer and I was sooo ashamed but I just can't hide it. I really mean it. after the crying scene I calmed myself by asking a lot of questions to the interviewer. I felt a lot better and time was ticking so the interview done that day. she told me that she will inform me whether I pass this interview next week. I walked alone to a bus station thinking what was I saying and doing haha I felt so dumb and I laughed and cried one more time in a bus while listening to my iPod and it shuffled my favorite band Washed Out - Don't Give Up (THANKS DEAR iPOD YOU'VE MADE THE BEST SOUNDTRACK OF THE DAY). the feeling after I left the interview was 90% sure that I was failed and I should forget about getting a job in this company. but I asked God once again if this opportunity meant to be mine, it will be mine. I shall not fear. Allah with me... I have did my best.
God you are the best planner. I was waking up in the morning, I checked my phone and I got mail from her. I counted the days and it hadn't been a week though. honestly, I didn't even have courage to read it so I leave it there because somehow my brain thinks it was probably a letter of rejection. after days my heart told me to read it but I still didn't want to read it because it's too sad to know that you're failed. what a lame! and in following days I got a second mail and still from her. I felt I must read her emails so I read all of them.
I stop and stare. I read her emails and re-read again and again I was afraid if there's something missing in the text or if this email wasn't actually addressed to me but ... alhamdulillah ya Allah! forgive my suudzhan. I was thinking wrong about you! I got the employment offers at that lovely company. reaaally! I have a very cool boss, a very nice office and a very humble co-workers even though most of them are older 5-8 years from me. what more could I ask but please Allah give me more protections and your blessing. amin
once again happy new year! never stop dreaming! :)
extras: during my jobless days, I used to wake up and menghayal babu. I don't have that much fashion items because I'm broke and honestly a hard-to-impress kind of girl. but I love UP shoes and I told my boyfriend that someday I will spend 5.000.000 Rupiah to buy all of my favorite UP Shoes collection. I used to add everything to cart without even proceed to check out because I'm poor *crying*. but Allah hears every words you said even just a whispered in your deepest heart. a week after I become an employee my boss gave us all shoe collection in the stock room to all of us in whatever quantity we wanted. Allah love me more! alhamdulillah. and I'm so happy. :)